Society kills us. :I

I love my boyfriend but I go through so much shit with my family and him it's hard to balance it all. But I mainly concentrate on him. I know couples have there ups and downs but I can't handle it. So I cut. Smoke. And drink. I know it doesn't help others but it numbs it for the moment and gets me to forget the bullshit. Like the abuse with my family & the once in a while fights and my insecurities on my appearance and feeling everywhere I go people are talking about me even if they aren't I think they are.. I know this isn't so happy but just how I am.not the happiest person with a funny/sad/loveydovey tumblr. Welp message me with questions or whatever :311.09.11 I know it's not a long time but in this short time I've fallen hard for this kid. He's my life. He's the reason I'm here today and so is my bestfriend Megan. Love them both Wiff all of my heart. They are here through everything the family shit, the cutting, the fucking up, the attempting stuff.. But them convincing me to stop. There though thick and thin! I love these fucks!:3 my loves forever :3